Learning to Say “No”

Learning to Say “No” Without Feeling Guilty

Many times the reason people find themselves simply not having enough time to do what they need to do is because they have taken on more than they can chew. Sometimes the key to managing your time better is being able to tell someone, “No, I'm not going to be able to do that for you.” Sometimes this means telling a friend you can't do them a favor or telling a client you can't accept the job they are asking you to do. This is really difficult for a lot of people but it is an essential skill if you want to learn good time management.
For most the main reason they have so much trouble just saying “No” is guilt. They don't want to upset the person asking and the idea of disappointing them fills them with guilt. They would rather try and find a way to fit it into their schedule. The thing is, doing this is going to make it harder to get the things already on your list done and can actually cause more stress than the guilt of turning someone down!
The first step to learning to say “No” is thinking about what guilt is and why you feel it. Guilt is the feeling that you are letting the person down by not doing what they ask. Now think more on why you feel guilty for saying “No.” Why do you feel like you should be saying “Yes?” Are you the only person who can do this task? Do you feel like you should do whatever is asked if you? Really think about why you feel like you need to be the one to do it.
The next step is looking at what saying “Yes” really means. If your schedule is full it is likely a “Yes” means a sacrifice will need to be made to make time for this new task. Who or what are you saying “No” to later? Will you be putting off your own work? Maybe some chores? Giving up some time with your family so you can do what has been asked of you? Think about what you will be putting off or giving up and decide if it is really worth it.
Now, I'm not saying you should be turning away your friends when they ask for favors and turning clients away because you don't want to work. I'm saying that when learning to manage time it is important to decide how you want to be spending your time and how to use your time most wisely. You need to be willing to say “No” when you need or want to without feeling guilty.