Learning to Say “No”

Learning to Say “No” Without Feeling Guilty

Many times the reason people find themselves simply not having enough time to do what they need to do is because they have taken on more than they can chew. Sometimes the key to managing your time better is being able to tell someone, “No, I'm not going to be able to do that for you.” Sometimes this means telling a friend you can't do them a favor or telling a client you can't accept the job they are asking you to do. This is really difficult for a lot of people but it is an essential skill if you want to learn good time management.
For most the main reason they have so much trouble just saying “No” is guilt. They don't want to upset the person asking and the idea of disappointing them fills them with guilt. They would rather try and find a way to fit it into their schedule. The thing is, doing this is going to make it harder to get the things already on your list done and can actually cause more stress than the guilt of turning someone down!
The first step to learning to say “No” is thinking about what guilt is and why you feel it. Guilt is the feeling that you are letting the person down by not doing what they ask. Now think more on why you feel guilty for saying “No.” Why do you feel like you should be saying “Yes?” Are you the only person who can do this task? Do you feel like you should do whatever is asked if you? Really think about why you feel like you need to be the one to do it.
The next step is looking at what saying “Yes” really means. If your schedule is full it is likely a “Yes” means a sacrifice will need to be made to make time for this new task. Who or what are you saying “No” to later? Will you be putting off your own work? Maybe some chores? Giving up some time with your family so you can do what has been asked of you? Think about what you will be putting off or giving up and decide if it is really worth it.
Now, I'm not saying you should be turning away your friends when they ask for favors and turning clients away because you don't want to work. I'm saying that when learning to manage time it is important to decide how you want to be spending your time and how to use your time most wisely. You need to be willing to say “No” when you need or want to without feeling guilty.

There’s A Lot To Appreciate In This Moment.

Your life is a living expression of who you know yourself to be, regardless of what others think or see.

It’s OK to let some people walk away. – You don’t have control over the things people say about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize it. Leave people to their opinions and judgments. Let them love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be. Or let them walk away if they choose. They can’t harm you either way; it’s their understanding that is faulty, not yours.

Challenges are simply opportunities. – When you encounter resistance, it means you are moving forward. When you come across a challenge, it means you have reached an opportunity for growth. Life becomes more rewarding as it becomes more demanding. Each new challenge is an opportunity to stretch beyond your previous limits. Most of the advantages you enjoy today were born in the difficulties through which you once traveled. So revel in the beauty of each challenging effort. Give your best to life, and life will return the favor many times over.

There’s a lot to appreciate in this moment. – Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t try to carry your entire past and future around with you. Take a break. Let go of your obsession with yesterday’s struggles and tomorrow’s to-do list, and simply enjoy the beauty of what’s right here, right now. Sometimes you have to stop thinking that some new richness will fulfill you, so you can fully experience the richness that's already yours.

Herb Gardening

7 Tips for New Herb Growers

Growing herbs is so rewarding! Watching your plants grow from tiny starts to full grown plants… the aroma flowing through your kitchen… being able to clip off fresh herbs for your recipes whenever you want. It is definitely worth the time and effort but if your plants don’t seem to be growing or living up to your expectations, it can be very disappointing. Luckily, there are things you can do to keep yourself from being disappointed by your herbs!

1. Always read up on the herbs you want to grow. Figure out how much sun they need, how big they get, and all of that. You want to try your best to grow them in their ideal conditions for best results.

2. When growing your plants indoors, they will start to gravitate towards the window. Turn your plants every few days to keep them full and pushy instead of one sided. You can also use a grow light to keep this from happening.

3. Think about the size of your plant when choosing a pot or planter. Big plants need big pots or they won’t have enough room for their roots. Bigger plants in small planters also need to be watered more often and won’t flourish as much as a plant in a properly sized container.

4. Some herbs are going to grow best outside. A window box outside your kitchen window is a great option for this provided the window gets enough sun. Otherwise you will want to make sure to harvest herbs from outside plants BEFORE you start cooking.

5. It is a good idea to give your plants some fertilizer or compost tea off and on to keep them healthy. Since you continually harvest them, they need lots of energy to keep producing more foliage.

6. Think about how you want to use and harvest your plants. Do you want to dry some of your herbs? Maybe freeze them? When you plan recipes, think of ways to incorporate your fresh herbs. Half the fun is cooking all kinds of yummy foods using what you have grown!

7. Don’t let your herbs flower and go to seed too early. Once they go to seed they stop producing as much. When it comes to plants, going to seed usually indicates the end of the plant’s life cycle. Pinch off flower buds when you see them to keep your herbs producing longer. If the buds keep growing back, you can also cut off the whole stem.

Once you understand what your herbs need, it will be easy to grow your own delicious garden. It is just a matter of figuring out what your plants need and making sure they get it!

Singles on Valentine's Day

Tips and Ideas for Singles on Valentine's Day

Being single on Valentine's Day can feel tough. You may be feeling even more single than normal. For some this brings on a feeling of depression and loneliness, others a sense of urgency as they try to quickly find a Valentine's Day date. The thing is, Valentine's Day doesn't need to be something you dread just because you are single. It isn't just a day to celebrate romance, but love in general. Here are a few things you can do on Valentine's Day to lift your spirits with no date required.
-Spend some time with family. There is a good chance Valentine's Day was much more about family when you were a kid. Remind yourself of all the love you have in your life by taking your mother out to lunch or spending the evening with some cousins.
-Have a girls or guys night out with your single friends. Celebrate your freedom to go out and have a singles night out.
-Have a group date. Not like a double date, a group date is a bit different. Call up your single friends and invite them to a singles night out. The only requirement is that each person must bring another single friend of the opposite gender. No dates, just lots of singles getting to know each other. This can be a great way to meet new people and have a lot of fun.
-Enjoy some time to yourself. While everyone else is out rushing about, slow down and enjoy a good book, a long bath, a day at the spa... anything you want. Spend some time relaxing and reconnecting with yourself. This is an especially good idea if you are newly single. Valentine's Day can be rough right after a breakup and spending some time reconnecting with yourself before you put yourself back on the market could be just what you need!
While we're at it, lets take a look at some of the things that might sound like a good idea but aren't. Many people start to get desperate the closer it gets to Valentine's Day if they haven't managed to find a date, but going out just because you think you should can easily lead to a miserable night.
-Don't call your ex just because you don't have a date. The only exception is if you guys have managed to maintain a good friendship and can both manage a date as friends. Otherwise you will just be leading yourself straight to heartache. It isn't worth it just to have somewhere to be on Valentine's Day. This one gets messy fast.
-Don't sit around at home moping. If you choose to stay home, don't lay around depressed. Do something you enjoy and make the evening something special even if it is just you. Order in some of your favorite food, sit in front of the fireplace with a good book, don't just sit around feeling sorry for yourself.
-Don't go out just because you think you need to. If you want to date, go on a date. If you are going on a date just because you think you should you are likely to find both yourself and your date having an awful time.
Being single on Valentine's Day isn't the end of the world. In fact, there are many ways to have a great time without having to go through the stress of finding a date or dating someone you don't know. It only comes once a year but love can happen any time, so why put so much focus on only one day?

The idea in the acorn

by Ralph Marston Tree There is no tree in the tiny acorn, but there is the ever-persistent idea of a tree. The acorn cannot move on its own, or ask for help, or even think for itself, but it can hold on to that idea, and it does.

When the tiny acorn becomes overwhelmed and buried by its surroundings, it then begins to express the idea. It does not complain or wish for more, but makes use of what it has to promote and manifest the idea, the idea of a tree that it holds in its every fiber. When the thunderous storms come, it does not fear them or hide from them, but uses them to continue expressing the idea it holds of a mighty tree. When the scorching sun beats down, the acorn takes that energy and puts it to productive use, transforming its idea into reality. And little by little, cell by cell, the idea of a tree begins to become a tree. The hardships and challenges come, yet that idea persists and the tree that is its object grows bigger and ever stronger. The idea in the acorn becomes a magnificent oak tree. It does so using only the resources which happen to come to it. You have a big advantage over the acorn, for you can think, you can learn, you can move yourself and other things around. Just imagine, then, how even more magnificently you can express your own dreams and ideas, making positive use of whatever may come your way. Read more: http://greatday.com/nmot/features/the-idea-in-the-acorn.html#ixzz29je6JSMi

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Begin This Day

May you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to embrace. Good morning family and friends. Your day is what you make it!

Liar's

I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire.

 

Benefits of Middle-Age Fitness

The Benefits of Middle-Age Fitness

Even if you haven't previously bothered with exercise, getting fit in middle age appears to reshape the landscape of aging.  READ MORE
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/05/the-benefits-of-middle-age-fitness/?smid=fb-share

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Quotes For The Day

Quote of the Day Leadership cannot really be taught. It can only be learned.

Quotes For The Day

Your successes and happiness are forgiven you only if you generously consent to share them.

Strong, Positive Attitude

Strong, Positive Attitude
A strong positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.

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Friendship

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.
Pam Brown

Eunice Kennedy Schriver Special Olympics

“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.” - Robert Francis Kennedy

When Bobby Kennedy said this quote his sister Eunice Kennedy Schriver lived it. The Special Olympics would not be here without her efforts.

How Green Are Jon and Kate Gosselin

How Green Are Jon and Kate Gosselin?
Kate and Jon Gosselin go to Hawaii.

Diapers, infidelity, screaming, tabloids, bikini, henpecked, multiples, backward mullet.

Any of these words might come to mind when the reality TV show "Jon & Kate Plus 8" is mentioned — but "green" is probably not among them.

Jon and Kate Gosselin, the heads of the crowded Pennsylvania household featured on the hugely popular TLC show, have recently made a push to have a more Earth-friendly lifestyle.

Some TV experts have applauded the efforts.

"This woman not only raises a family of eight kids — she also recycles, she buys organic food whenever possible, she buys local food whenever possible and she's overcome a lot of the obstacles a lot of people are still tripping on," gushed Sarah Snow, a green-living expert and TV host, during an appearance on the show.

A special hour-long episode of the show, entitled "Jon and Kate Plus 8 Go Green!", aired just before April 22, which was Earth Day.

Steve Thomas, the host of "Renovation Nation" on the Planet Green channel, came on to show the Gosselins how to make their home more energy-efficient as a skeptical Kate looked on.

Yet while there was much fanfare about the eco-move in the media, some environmental experts see big families and going green as mutually exclusive.

"A family with eight children could be green in the short term, if they lived at such a low standard of living that they didn't consume more than a family with two children, or if they existed in extreme poverty — which isn't an acceptable way of going green," says Rosamund McDougall, policy director of the U.K.-based Optimum Population Organization (www.optimumpopulation.org).

"In the long term, though, it is almost impossible for large families not to increase overall environmental impacts."

One of the reasons for the lack of green-ness is the emission of carbon dioxide.

If the eight children depicted in the show lived in Britain, they would each emit about 750 tons of carbon dioxide over a lifetime, McDougall explains. (American carbon-dioxide emissions per capita are about double that of Britain's.)

"What's more, if the eight children each had eight children, not taking into account the fact that eight husbands or wives would be absorbed from other families, there would be 64 grandchildren, each emitting 750 [metric tons] over a lifetime," says McDougall.

"Compare this with the total emissions of the two children who go on to have two children each, and you see only too clearly how the impact multiplies over time."

Tree's a Crowd

For some bloggers on environmental Web sites, the only green they see is caused by nausea over Jon and Kate's attempts.

Sure, the family might have installed solar panels and made a fuss over recycling, but with eight little carbon footprints running around on the Earth, America's most televised family is hardly non-consumptive, charge some greenies.

"No matter what this family does, it could NEVER go green," writes one blogger on Treehugger.com. "The most green families are those with one child or none. So this family has absorbed the CARBON FOOTPRINT OF 8 FAMILIES. This is very greedy!!!"

Critics aside, it could be said that the show itself is good for the environment. The 9.8 million viewers who caught the season opener were at least not cruising around in their cars, guzzling gas or stamping on the Earth during that hour of the week, right?

Viewers and Boo-ers

It's little surprise that the Gosselin family's tries at going green would be divisive, considering how divided the nation seems to be over the show itself.

With the rumors of infidelity, the high-profile travel, the book deals, the money machine, Kate's hairdo and all those kids, the public either loves it or hates it. Sometimes the division is even in the same family room.

"My mother watches the show aaaaaall the time. We, on the other hand don't," blogs Liam Jameson on the comment board for the "Goes Green" episode. "We feel like hitting Kate over the head with a freezer door. Mother is angry because we say this."

Now, would that be an energy-efficient appliance or not? Just asking.

Be Happy

Going Up! 7 Pointers to Lift a Bad Mood


By Dr. Maoshing Ni

Dr. Mao's Secrets of Longevity

A bad mood not only gives you a gloomy outlook, it also lowers your immune function, leading the way to illness. Here are some suggestions to lift your mood, your spirit, and your health.

1. A Laughing Matter
"Laugh Therapy," pioneered by Norman Cousins, has turned out to have real substance. Research has discovered that laughter and joy boost immune functions, especially the production of the natural killer cells that help defend the body from illness and cancer.

Laughter also increases the release of endorphins - compounds that give you a sense of well-being - in your brain. Without a doubt, joyful people liver longer and healthier lives. So read your favorite comics, watch your favorite comedies, and laugh it up!

2. Amino Acid for Restored Mindset
When an imbalance or deficiency is creating a bad mood, the Europeans use supplements of a natural compound found in human cells to regulate mood and restore a healthy mindset. SAMe (S-adenosyl-L-methionine) is produced from methionine, an amino acid that plays a role in the production of uplifting neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine.

One study indicated that SAMe worked on patients who had unsuccessful results with conventional antidepressants. To get a boost from SAMe, take a supplement combining it with vitamins B6 and B12.

3. Hands-On Healing
Human touch increases the production of endorphins, growth hormone, and DHEA, all of which lengthen your life span and lower the negative impact of stress. Studies have found that patients who are regularly touched recover faster than those who are not touched. So give someone a hug and feel both of your moods improve.

4. Boost Your "Youth Hormones"
You don't need pills to flood your body with a rejuvenating flood of growth hormones. Research has found that doing squats and leg presses will greatly increase your natural production of the "youth hormone". Increased growth hormone translates to an elevated mood, among other physical benefits. Keep it up with weight training, knee bends, push-ups, and rowing.

5. Take a Bracing Breath
Breathing correctly is important for dispelling the toxins and wastes from your body; in fact, it is estimated that we expel only about 30 percent of toxins in our bodies through the bowels and bladder-the rest is all respiratory. Breathing is also a great way to clear your mind, boost your energy, and improve your mood. Practice deep, slow, rhythmic, breathing daily with mind-body disciplines such as tai chi, yoga, qigong, and meditation.

6. Smell the Joy
Research has shown that smell has a definite impact on our bodies and minds. When you stimulate the olfactory nerves inside your nose, you activate the limbic system of your brain, which is associated with moods and memory. This concept is instrumental to aromatherapy, a natural health tradition that makes use of the healing powers of plants with strong scents.

Aromatherapy recommends treating depression with jasmine, eucalyptus for exhilaration, and grapefruit to increase alertness and joy. Just put a dab of the essential oils from these plants on your temples, back of your neck, or acupressure points. Another option? Boil the herb in water and inhale the steam through your nose.

7. Feel Fine with Flowers
There is a reason that flowers are the traditional get-well gesture. Colorful flowers have a powerful influence on moods; they can uplift a patient's mood and even combat stress. One study found that during a five-minute typing assignment, people sitting next to a flowering bouquet were more relaxed than those who sat near foliage-only plants.

I hope these tips help the good feelings flow! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.

May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

-Dr. Mao

by Dr. Maoshing Ni a Yahoo! Health Expert for Alternative Medicine
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Quotes For The Day, Jean Kerr

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
- Jean Kerr

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